May 23, 2010.

Our two dogs are like two kids to us. We do not have human kids, so my furry, four-legged canines have become my kids. I have often wondered what would happen if one of them got sick. How far financially would we be able to help them. Many people who are not pet people do not understand the attachment you get to these creatures.

In the last couple of years our finances have taken a nose-dive, partly due to bad money management and a big part to the business we are no longer involved in. This resulted last year in a bankruptcy that is still not totally settled, but should be shortly. Our budget is tight and we have no emergency cash to speak of. In the midst of the bankruptcy when we were really struggling with the business, some things happened where we had to sell things in order to pay necessary bills. The first to be sold were all but one of Chris' guns. Later we sold some silver bars and coins to get the money for a second car. It's been a struggle.

Now, one of our dogs is showing some troublesome signs. Rudy will be 7 this year. He has always suffered from seasonal allergies. He will sneeze a bit more then the normal dog in the springtime. This spring, though, his sneezing is ten times worse. I just figured it was a worse then normal allergy season. One of his eyes has been running constantly. Then, in the last few days when he sneezes hard, blood and phlegm flies from his nose. For several days I have been finding spots of blood around the house and had no clue which dog it was coming from. Yesterday I figured it out when Rudy sneezed in front of my and a glob appeared on the floor.

In researching this, there are two primary causes. His allergies or a nasal tumor. Signs of the tumor are a runny eye, sneezing with bloody discharge. He is so far not showing the other signs which are loud snoring or noisy breathing.

To solve this he would need an X-ray at the vet, probably some blood work. Any work like this at a vet is expensive. We simply do not have the money. Chris' and I discussed this today between me crying. He said he would come up with the money. I told him the money is not just going to materialize and we are not borrowing. He is positive that we will have some cash coming back to us after the debts are settled in the bankruptcy. Yes, that is possible...but, this bankruptcy has been going on for over a year. We could wait several more months for any funds that are due back to us. I have two rings I can sell that would probably cover it all. One has my engagement diamond and my grandmothers ruby. I am willing to sell this, he is not.

Chris keeps telling me I need to put my faith in the Lord. I am having a very hard time with this right now. Very hard time.

I have to edit my post and say....my verse for today is a great verse for me today! I feel bad that I posted about my faith in the Lord faltering. It is not He who is faltering me...it is I who am faltering in my faith in Him. My old ways were to quickly blame things on God. Why is that???I still have so much growing and learning to do.