We let Rudy go Thursday morning. I have to say, it has absolutely been one of the most difficult things I have ever done. We went and picked him up at Purdue University Thursday morning and took him to our own vet to be put down. What made it so difficult, when we first saw him at Purdue he was so happy to see us. Wagging his tail, dancing, acting goofy. Through all this ordeal...up until the last couple of weeks Rudy has never acted like a dog sick with cancer. The hardest night for me was Wednesday, knowing what we were going to do the next day and also knowing he was sleeping in a strange place, with strange people...probably wondering where we were. I did not sleep at all that night...I almost made Chris drive me down there so I could see him that evening.
I'm not crying as much as I did Wednesday and Thursday, but I still am finding myself breaking into tears at odd moments. I've been giving our other lab, Charlotte, a lot of extra attention...partly to help her because she is lost, but also I am finding it therapeutic for me.
I just wish I could sleep better. I never, ever in my life imagined losing a pet would be this difficult. But, then, I have never known a dog like Rudy....and I don't think I ever will. He was special and he touched many people in his short life. My mother-in-law has been grieving almost as much as we have. She loved Rudy. My sister-in-law as well and my mom have been crying.
I know it will get easier with time.
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