July 25, 2010.

One thing I still wrestle with is putting all my worries and concerns into the hands of the Lord. Does this ever get any easier?? The Bible verse where it says "do not worry", while easy to read is hard to adopt into your life. When you've gone through life worrying about everything, it's hard to lay aside your concerns and let the Lord handle them.

I'm getting better at it, mind you, but sometimes it's hard. We are still struggling financially. It's getting better, but right now the ratio of money coming in to money going out for bills is so close that there is very little leftover. I know over time and with determination, it will get better. This week, it was reaching the point where I was wondering if we were going to make it to the next payday. I had only about 50.00 in the checkbook and payday for either of us is not until next Friday. The cinema is closed for two weeks, so the extra cash coming in there was not happening. Luckily, my new part-time job at the church was picking up for the cinema money that wasn't coming in. This money was filling Chris gas tank. But, this morning there was no paycheck in my little cubby hole at church.

What do I do...I panic! My first thoughts was...Oh, no! What are we going to do! 50.00 was going to be hard to stretch till Friday when 40.00 of that was going to go for gas. I had prescription I needed to pick up at the pharmacy, my van needed gas..heck just buying the gallon of milk we needed was going to be hard. Instead of panicking, I should have calmly called the church treasurer and just asked her if there was a delay for my check or perhaps she forgot.

After I got home, I did calm down and Chris called her. She forgot, as simple as that. I later went to where she works and picked up my check. And to show you how God works in your life....I wasn't even aware she actually owed me two paychecks. She hadn't paid me after the first week I worked there...which for many businesses is common so I never questioned it. She handed me two checks and said she was sorry she had missed one. I thought she had made a mistake until I came home and check my previous stubs and found yes, I did have two coming.

So, now instead of wondering how we were going to make it until the next paycheck...I have a bit more money then I was expecting to have today.

Now...why can't I just let God handle all my worries????? I waste too much of life worrying and stressing over things I shouldn't.