April 28, 2010, continued...

I didn't want to make this all one long post, so thought I'd break it up into two. Since last weekend, things have been different. I wasn't sure if it was just the euphoric high you get from experiences like that. I've been wondering if the feelings will wear off and I will eventually go back to my life as it was. Or if indeed things have changed. So, far it seems things have changed.

Not sure if it's all these changes or what, but my stomach has been a mess for the last couple of days. And this started before we got the lovely envelope delivered to our door by the Sheriff's department. I'll go into that later, don't really feel like thinking about that right now. Anyway, my stomach has been a mess since yesterday morning. On and off upset, along with those pleasant frequent trips to the bathroom. I've been know to have stomach problems when I'm upset...but, I'm not really upset. Who knows...maybe I'm just getting old.

My husband keeps asking me to explain why things have changed...how they have changed...what I feel, etc. I keep trying to tell him, it's hard to put into words. And, I truly don't know how to put it into words. I'm hoping by doing a blog, perhaps I can get myself to understand it.

He and I said a prayer before bed last night. In all our 25 years of marriage, we have never done that. Felt good, also felt a bit awkward. We've also started an email thing with our friends Wayne and Karen to discuss our feelings about each days Upper Room devotion. That has been a nice addition to my morning, though sometimes it's hard to express how I do feel about each devotion. I'm sure it is something that will get easier as time goes.

I've been thinking about the issues that I've dealt with the past few months with our business. Chris and I had a talk with our Pastor a couple weeks ago. He asked us if we ever felt we would want to sit down and discuss things with the other couple involved. At that time, I honestly did not think any good would come of it. Now, I'm not so sure...and am thinking maybe it would be something we should do. I almost approached my Pastor on this today when I saw him at the Bible study class. I ultimately did not ask him then, thought I'd better discuss it with Chris first. But, I'm thinking perhaps it is time to sit down with them. Even if though refuse to, or if they won't forgive us....at least I know that I have tried.